How many of us actually understand the meaning of freedom!? Does freedom mean doing what we want without being able to answer anyone? When I say anyone… does that include our own selves!?
I have seen people in my life, who run from people, things… from a lot of things in fact. I have also seen people, who get close by choice and then start feeling claustrophobic, in the presence of their best friends… can their behavior be defined!? Now, what does being free actually mean!? Every time you get close to someone, u get a feeling that they are trying to tie you down. Who ties down whom!? The beauty of the relationship (could be friendship, or marriage) lies in the fact that it acts as an anchor. The anchor never ties the ship down when it is sailing. It does so, when the ship has sailed and wants to return to the shore.
All of us are like ships. We would like to sail in the faraway seas… tread unseen terrains… but in the end of the day, we want to come back to our home – with someone waiting for us. Now, do people call this claustrophobia!? Do people call this tying the m back!? True love or friendship never ever ties down anyone… It gives u the freedom to explore the entire world and yet makes you want to come back at the end of it…
strangely, the topics of our latest posts seem to bear a striking similarity…
my question…… what if a ship wants to find a different home every time it sails out? what if the ship loves the sailing part more than the docking part? what if a ship never intends to get docked?
and secondly… how do you define ‘home’? isnt the other person in the relation also a ship (could be a homely ship 🙂 )
Hi Neha,
I agree with Manan that his latest post and your this post are related…
but..
Freedom, in General, to me is “Taking responsibility”. When you don’t want anyone to bother you or tie you down then yeah, you better go out and take your responsibilities buddy.
Now In context of your post – I loved the analogy and the way you defined the role of ‘anchor’ in ship example. ‘was that your original example? 😉 ” (Kidding…) 🙂
I also see many people around me who are afraid of commitment and yes they do feel claustrophobia. I hate to see that though. Coz one side, they talk about freedom and other side they are not ready to accept or take the responsibility which is packed in a loving-blissful gift-wrap in front of them. I, seriously, pity them..!!
this is interesting.. krupa u pity people who are afraid of commitment because they feel claustrophobic… i dont pity them… i feel they are the smartest blokes and babes around.. y get into any sort of commitment when you are not ready to make a compromise on your own level of freedom?
In fact i pity those who jump into commitments and later think “what have i gotten myself into?”
methinks its better to wait for someone for whom you would be ready to make that compromise on personal freedom, rather than rushing into the much hyped “commitment”…
Commitment is for people who feel insecure and are unsure of themselves, they need a reassurance from their other half.
i am not saying commitment is bad….just that i appreciate them more who are so sure about themselves that they dont have to ask for it…..
Funny na “vada karo nahin chhodoge tume mera saath…..” Y do u need a promise… if you need a promise on this thing….better rethink about the relationship…
Manan,
You are walking with ONLY belief that once one commits, he repents. On the other hand, I am sure that once one commits, it’s gonna be beautiful relationship. IF NOT, I’ve to learn to deal with that and I am all ready for that. If that’s in my store, I’ve got strength to deal with that..
Seems that may be just from ur personal experience, u r generalizing that ‘true love’ doesn’t exist(that’s ur answer to Guarav on ur blogspot), u r generalizing that ‘commitment’ is a prison. Just because u r also one of those who is afraid of commitment and feels claustrophobia u r bound to believe in that and in nothing else.
Commitment is not always explicitly said aloud, many times ppl are committed without a single word. Look at ur self and u will realize that u r committed to ur close friends without a single word said explicitly.
“methinks its better to wait for someone for whom you would be ready to make that compromise on personal freedom, rather than rushing into the much hyped “commitment” —– Not this post (Freedom by Neha) nor my comment talks about jumping into early conclusions. NOBODY said that u need to take a decision hastily. May be u r just talking ur mind out.. and yeah.. good to do that.. it helps!!
If u liked the fun that u made about that song, i wud suggest u to add more fun by keep joking on each movie, each song, each love-story, each married couple, each love-couple each and every individual on this earth.. coz everyone has a love-GOD in him which teaches all commitment, freedom, relationship, responsibility and lot more.
In fact why don’t u start with urself? Laugh at ur self whenever ur mind is free to think about claustrophobia..
GOOD LUCK!
I am sure that i m totally rude in this comment, but trust me I chose to do that! And yeah, u r not enemy though 🙂 Take care… (surely, waiting for ur reply which might be even rude)
kRUPa, in a lot of ways, I agree with you… However, let me make this clear once and for all and put this in writing – My blog is not related to Manan’s blog… He is advocating infidelity, while i m touching a different realm – m talking about freedom and misconceptions relating to it.
Manan, regarding your comment… From time immemorial, we know that nature balances or evens out things in its own way…
It is because of this balance that,
1) An electron orbits around the nucleus.
2) Every single thing that is born meets with an end.
3) Everything that goes around comes around – Manan’s fav adage 🙂
for those a little scientifically oriented, Concepts like Entropy and Enthalpy r based on this universal phenomena – that every single atom in this universe is trying to attain balance… Philosophically speakin, even us humans r trying to attain brahman (not many r m sure 😉 )
And so, every ship that sails, must find its shore… I agree when you say Manan, that everytime the ship sails it may want a different shore. Precisely my point! The ship can go explore as many shores as it wants… finally it will decide to settle down at the shore it finds the maximum contentment at… The point remains… Everyone in this fast world is out there to do their best… but after dealing with the rest of the world, they want to come back… come back to someone who gives them the peace and calm… There is no such thing as a “homely ship”… All the ships sail their own paths and finally come back to their shore…
That one locus, that one anchor which keeps us going! And ofc, not everyone can be that anchor… So, Good luck finding your anchor… 🙂
kRUPa dear, what can i say!!! – I will reiterate that I agree with you totally… 🙂
Nova, what you said about freedom in relationships, ” freedom of sailing on it’s own and then coming back to it’s anchor” is something which defines a perfect relationship. I guess the problem is that it , most of the times, remain as an utopian concept. But yes, that’s what freedom should be.
Krupa, what you said about commitment is so true. Sometimes, it takes hell lot of time to understand yourself and to know what you really want from people and relationships. But once you reach that evolved state of mind, commitment is freedom. We are scared of commitments till we dont understand ourselves and real meaning of freedom.
I have always liked this quote on commitment,
“The relationship between commitment and doubt is by no means an antagonistic one. Commitment is healthiest when it’s not without doubt but in spite of doubt.”
Cheers
Very well written lallopallo…. agree with you 🙂
uff….the blog in itself was heavy and so many blogs as comments…nice reading though…
i cant post a reply it seems 😦
“manan is advocating infidelity”… the comment sums it all up pretty sweetly. it puts paid to the freedom of expression, it brings out our judgemental nature, it shows our intolerance for alien ideas and to top it all up, it gives some people an opportunity to bask in the “holier than thou” light.
you have talked about balance…. where did the thirst for balance start from Neha? remember the Philosophy classes? the Universe was born out of a desire for imbalance… and as if ashamed of the big bang caused by the imbalance, it has been trying to bring back the balance till date, rather unsuccessfuly. We just can not reconcile ourselves to imbalances….but the truth is we are all intrinsically imbalanced. some of us brace this aspect with open arms, some others just shut their eyes to it.
Krupa… read my post again… i have not proceeded with the single minded bent that “once one commits one repents”, i guess you have already stereotyped me into a frame and try as i may, i cant break away from it. the message i was trying to get across was “once one commits and starts repenting, it should not mean the end of it all”. As for the songs (wow!! i seem to have touched a raw nerve there) i think when you visualize these songs as being sung by a person who is going to repent his/her commitment, they do sound funny.
One more thing Krupa…. i somehow feel calm and composed while writing this response…but your language in the previous post was indicating that you are in an agitated state… i find it interesting.
“And so, every ship that sails, must find its shore”…another stereotype… y do u have a problem with a ship which intends to sail and sail and sail? just because it started off from the shore does not mean that it should come back. It is as absurd as saying ” and so, every pineapple that grows on earth should end up in someone’s stomach”
Krupa has also suggested that i should laugh at myself, i wish you knew me better Krupa… coz i do it all the time… my humor starts with me..and most of the times ends with me… i guess Neha could attest to that…
long post, time for some food….
regards
“The Infidel”
Manan, Wow! Its gonna take quite some time answering all of this… Let me try.. 🙂
A few misconceptions.. Important to clear them first..
1) U r advocating infidelity – whether good or bad, is left to our understanding – I never once stated its bad… I dont think I am qualified enough to do that. Moreover, I dont think u understood the analogy of trying out different shores! – I am not be professing the “holier than thou” image.
2) I remember the philosophy classes very very well Manan.. And If u may, we can have a discussion with Prof Venkat regarding this. Nature is intrinsically imbalanced! – TRUE! But, The fact that all of us are perennially trying to attain balance is equally true – A ship that sails MUST go to a shore (refuelling, cleaning, blah blah) But, ya which shore is certainly a point of debate…
The ship can NOT sail and sail and sail Manan… It has got to find its destination! Or it will get lost in the tornado!
Once again, I am not saying, we are not imbalanced – We obviously are! Everything in this universe is either imbalanced or in the state of achieving balance! We belong to the former manan… but r approaching towards the latter!
Does that make sense?
1)”Infidelity” as a word has never been viewed in a positive light, you need to be careful when you are addressing a public forum like this one. people see and make an opinion…in this case they would have formed an opinion about me. i hope you would be more discreet about it next time.
2) sailing is the ships destination. i might sound stupid but that is what i feel.
3) true we are all trying to attain balance… did it occur to you that some of us could be attaining balance by accepting the imbalance? i think if you stretch your imagination just a bit , you will be able to understand.
regards,
the infidel 🙂
The comments for krupa, I guess r better left to her 🙂
Manan, Since when have u started getting bogged by trivial things like these? I did not “judge” you – This was the conclusion of ur latest blog…
Calling “sailing” a destination is like calling a verb, a noun! Think about it!
And I do understand when you say some of us must be attaing balance, by accepting the imbalance – Absolutely! In case, u havent thought about it… Manan, most of the world does this… People know imbalance exists.. Now this leads to two brands of people –
1) some who rebel and want to break out of imbalance
2) some who accept it as a part of their lives and r at peace with it
Most of us belong to the second category…Precisely why you do not have too many brahmans around 😉
Makes sense?
Manan,
“Krupa… read my post again… i have not proceeded with the ” —- Stereotyping – Yes, I admit I have put you in a frame now.
A frame where the infidel resides .. where I see the meaning in dictionary for infidel as -“A person who does not acknowledge your god”. When you accept yourself as infidel and address yourself as infidel then I am choosing to refuse taking any comment from the person who doesn’t acknowledge god-Love GOD..
“..i wish you knew me better Krupa…” – May be I am glad that I don’t … 😉 And yeah.. Keep laughing.. Laughing is a good exercise..One day, when you are open to take this concept, you will know what you were laughing at and then again, you will laugh at yourself thinking how could you laught at this.. 🙂
Wish you good luck.. and no more comments from my side .. I don’t like to use this public place for unnecessary chitchat. Moreover, as you said in one of your comments, one should take care of certain things when they talk in a public forum like this..So choosing to sign-off 🙂
Krupa, come online…chori…
mmm… :).. Stop… Sathish shutup.. u r not going to comment. Ok.
Do not feed my blog a conclusion neha. it was never meant to have a conclusion, unlike most people i am ok with talks which do not end conclusively. i just tossed an idea and some people did not like it. So its perfectly OK.
As far as balance and imbalance is concerned, i believe one ultimately has to be at peace with oneself, all the other things keep fading in and out. The Brahman i know of does not become a Brahman by rebeling against anything, he does so more by assimilating everything, all the perfections along with the imperfections.
Krupa??? u did not really think u cud get away with that outburst of yours…did you? In case u did…. let me tell u something..u were wrong… I thought u understood leos..but it seems u need to be educated a bit more…
So, now that you wont be posting anything. let me have a ball 🙂
I would like to take this occasion to describe your behavior so far in the debate:-
1) U were childish in your protests
2) U also gave me the impression that i was talking to someone who knew how my life was going to unfold (Ha Ha!! did u notice that i am laughing right now?).
3) Your ‘Infidel’ excuse was a lame one, u could have said that u were running out of patience and logic to counter my points and i would have granted you a looser’s dignity and refrained from this post.
4) U seem to have a problem with people who laugh…. do u laugh? or do u think laughing at things is the forte of the people placed lower on the intelligence level? My laughs are irreverent and it seems they invariably drive u mad, when was the last time you made fun of yourself and had a good laugh?
5) The useless chit chat was interesting enough for you to post two long comments….y did u loose interest suddenly? ran out of points kya?
I m feeling sleepy already, otherwise i could have taken this count to 20 at least, the point is…there are leos and then there are the Leos…. i hope u get it 🙂
cant say keep laughing…. how about…. keep trying to laugh? 🙂
Manan,
u thought i m running out of ideas and hence submitting before a good state of debate.
may be u r right..
may be u know everything..
may be u r so experienced that u can judge people (judge me)
may be u r actual Leo and may be i do not know Leos
may be u r not infidel
may be u r too interested to continue this debate and i m not
may be u r able to define what is childish and what is not while the rest of the world doesn’t understand anything from this entire conversation..
may be u think that using the public forum for such judging portrait of anyone is a good thing (which you yourself said in one of the comments as critical factor to take care of and i see you not following though)
who wins at the end of this so called one side ‘childish’- one side mature debate according to you?
my answer – ‘ur ego’ wins. I lose. And trust me I am happy with that. may be unlike Leos, I chose to lose. ( i can only hope it’s wise choice!)
But did u ever think that we are completely drifted from the post title? I never wanted to start addressing u but situations turned. I wish this never happens again. Don’t want to lose again to boost someone’s ego which can be harmful to him and may be to others, may be to me.
Kindly do not reply here as there is no need, u can judge anything u want anyhow. I don’t care. But do ask yourself this question, what did u achieve after this entire winning battle for yourself not from this world’s perception?
I definitely achieved one lesson – of not drifting away from the title or context of the blog post. Anything other than that can be ignored. That choice is not difficult to make. It’s just that this time I missed.
I knew you would write to make me write and for that again… u won.
As you would feel happy, let me say ‘I will keep TRYING to laugh’ (again a judging one from you.. but anyway..not a big deal!!)
Look who is here!!! its Krupa the Leo again friends 🙂
Hey Krupa!! i will call an end to this derailed debate (do not blame me for it… we did it together)
i wanted to tell u something about leonine nature which i think u should know….
when confronting a leo, be it in the mental arena or the physical world….never ever dismiss him or her from your presence..never show him/her your back in the middle of the deal… its disrespect..a leo expects this much respect even from his enemies…
One last thing, it does not take a Krupa for a Manan to know that he has won. You do not have to explicitly state that i have won (was it a battle? 🙂 )…. it is something which is pretty obvious.
regards,
Manan Sharma
Manan,
This one is for you… Do you know for whom these lines have been written?
I’m What I’m, and that’s just what I am.
Some people will like me and some won’t.
So, I might as well be myself, and then at least
I’ll know that the people who like me, like me.
Regards
Neha
By the way, being at peace with imperfection is something i guess, no Aquarian can ever relate to. For the simple reasont that they r progressive in nature. It is because of such progressive people that we have reached where we have. Had we been ok with what we had, we would still be living in caves!
Being at peace with imperfection is a very sophisticated way of saying “I concede defeat”!
Hi Sathish,
Cant thank you enough for refraining from commenting… 😛
Neha
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