This topic had been lurking in my mind for a long time now… Here I will talk of people who have had a past they want to forget, and think that they have… but actually they haven’t! Read on… 🙂
I have seen a lot of people who think they have “moved on”, but they keep lurking in the shadows of the past… Every single thing they did together, Every single place they visited together, takes them back and fills them with pain, they seem to have forgotten… They see someone on the road, who looked and talked just like her, and the sight disturbs them… Not just this, the smell of her perfume on someone else opens up closed chapters… And these people actually have “moved on” – buried the feelings somewhere in the backyard and are ready for new prospects….!!
I sometimes ask myself, is this “moving on”?
I find this rather silly! Now, I may be talking pure theory, without an experience to back it up with… But, trust me, I have given this quite some thought… And I believe, that merely burying old feelings and taking on new ones will not help! They will act only as temporary recluse.. I call it temporary, because, if and when in the future, your past comes and stands in front of you, you will find yourself crumble! The skeletons in the cupboard are bound to disturb… If not now, then sometime in the future.
This approach of handling the past, is an escapist way!! You can not run from your past! You can not! So, what can one do? You need to let the feelings engulf you completely. Dont fight them… Dont push them away… Accept them… As part of your self. As part of your being. Now, this may be a painful process. But, you need to understand that, in order to avoid this temporary pain, you are making yourself vulnerable to a life-time of restlessness and intermittent pain!
So, accept your pain… Deal with it… Face it in the eye… Welcome it as a part of you… Do NOT avoid it or try to bury it… that will not help!
The next time your past comes and stands in front of you, if you can meet the person in the eye and smile… That is when you have moved on 🙂